IT IS HARD TO MOVE ON
May be im the slow one out here. But I don’t expect you readers to believe everything what I say. I’ve always been waiting for someone to come hold my hand just like every other typical teenager does. But that doesn't mean that I'm one. Whatever !
Wel..When i say "waiting for someone to come hold my hand" it doesn't mean a boyfriend or something. I just mean ANYONE !
Anyone who actually understands me, cares for me, helps me in my bad moments as well rejoices during my victory.
Not someone who pretends to be mine. And mocks at me behind my back. I don't even want someone who fakes to be happy when I win or who praises me most of the time and when i turn around abuses me.
We all are aware of how cruel this Earth can be...well actually the PEOPLE living on this earth.
I suppose i can include myself in the PEOPLE living on earth because its a human tendancy to do anything for our own happiness.
No matter how hard you try it is little too impossible to find some one who really cares for you.
And now if you're gonna talk about your mum siting at home or right behind you i can still give you an example.
"If a mother and her 2 year old son are drowning in a sea she will try all the best possible ways to save her dear son...but in the end when theres no way she herself will put her hand on his head so that she gets a support to go above the water level."
Here again....you readers MIGHT have another opinion to what I am saying.
Lets get back to what i was saying....At the end of the day you all will realize that theres no one to actually help yu to get out of quiksand.
Knowing this true fact...i yet fell into this trap.
It could be a lesson...but to be frank I din't learn from it coz i got myself once again into this pit.
For another time i still regard it a lesson.
Even after reading this you might not change your view of thinking. And hence you are still carrying on with your best friend or your best ones.
I did the same.
And here is where i dug my own grave.
I was happy and contended with my life and accepted every sad and good moment as it passed by.It was easy to accept them because the sad moments were not as harsh as they are now.Well I believed in everything that people told me. I never doubted anyone even though that opposite was my enemy.
Falling in Love with him was not that troublesome.. because it was HIM!
The person who I think I always wanted.
Haha….seems like a joke…But not for me
I was addicted to my friends and continued being jolly with them.
I never had that negative feeling that, “THINGS MIGHT JUST GO WRONG
The sad part to say is that Even though I got caught into them so easily it was and still is very very difficult to remove this mark of agony
As it is said….if there is a misunderstanding between any relationship it is not impossible to clear it out. But there is always a knot left behind even after trying to tie back the thread.
It took me about 6 months to recover from the hard and addictive medicines and pills from the doctor. The credit should actually go to Dr.Raman Khosla or being a big support for me. I would also like thanking THE ART OF LIVING workshops and meditation taught by the course. It did help me to move on but yet as I said “THE KNOT IS STILL LEFT”
With support from family and teachers I finally managed to make a new set of friends thinking that they are mine forever. That doesn’t mean im any more with them. But as I have preached I will still believe in the words “Betray and Ditch”
I’m trying to forget the past but it does not seem easy to do so.
Again… A thing that I never expected to happen just happened 21 hours ago.
And I’m trying to convince myself to understand the meaning of this sentence
“This will also pass”
And things once again MAY get back to normal.
And maybe if I find someone else to hold my hand
And if he/she lets go off me easily I surely will cry..
And will again need someone to give a shoulder to me.
That is what every human really needs in life other than luxuries and comforts.
And so do I !
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Oh Carol !
this seems to be a little funny...but this is 1 of my very dearest songs....its really very old..but whenever i listen to it i still feel the way I felt when i heard it for the first time..
Oh! Carol, I am but a fool,
Darling I love you tho' you treat me cruel,
You hurt me and you made me cry
But if you leave me I will surely die.
Darling there will never be anotherCause I love you so,don't ever leave me,
Say you'll never go
I will always want you for my sweetheart
No matter what you do
Oh! Carol, I'm so in love with you.
Oh, Carol...
Darling..
Aww...cho chweet...!
and people who havent heard it...
"PLEASE DO !"
Oh! Carol, I am but a fool,
Darling I love you tho' you treat me cruel,
You hurt me and you made me cry
But if you leave me I will surely die.
Darling there will never be anotherCause I love you so,don't ever leave me,
Say you'll never go
I will always want you for my sweetheart
No matter what you do
Oh! Carol, I'm so in love with you.
Oh, Carol...
Darling..
Aww...cho chweet...!
and people who havent heard it...
"PLEASE DO !"
Friday, June 13, 2008
EvAnEsCeNcE
History
Amy Lee - VocalsBen Moody AAmy Lee-Vocals
Ben Moody-Lead Guitar
John Lecompt-Guitar
Rocky Gray-Drums– Amy Lee - Vocal
Originally considered by many to be part of the Christian rock scene — and for a short time promoted in Christian stores — the band has distanced itself from such categorization, even though Fallen (2003), their first major-label release, had some religious themes. 'Tourniquet', for example, is about suicide and redemption, with lyrics like 'Am I too lost to be saved? My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation.' It should be noted however, that the song was a cover, written by members of Rocky Gray's previous band, Soul Embraced. The initial labeling of the band as Christian stirred much controversy, until Christian stores eventually took Fallen off the shelves. The band's lead singer Amy Lee has insisted the band is not Christian and does not intend to send a Christian message, even though she is in fact a Christian herself.
Evanescence's debut single 'Bring Me to Life' was a global hit for the band and reached #5 on the American Billboard Hot 100. It was included in the soundtrack for the action movie Daredevil and garnered recognition for the band at the Grammy Awards of 2004: The single was awarded Best Hard Rock Performance, and Evanescence was awarded Best New Artist. Lyrically, Evanescence explores dark, introspective themes of love, desperation, and despair. But the group insists its fundamental message is a positive one. “The point of this whole record and band is to let people know that they’re not alone in dealing with bad feelings or pain or anything that they go through,” says Lee, who pens most of the words. “That’s life and that’s human. They’re not alone, and we’re going through it, too.”
Their first record, Origin (released in 2000), is relatively unknown, and previously released EPs in 1998 and 1999 are even less known, though highly sought after by collectors. Not atypically, Origin and the EPs contain demo versions of some of the songs on their first major-label album. In fact, the recording of 'My Immortal' found on Fallen can also be found on Origin, minus a handful of additional instrumental accompaniments. However, Lee herself does not consider the record to be an actual album; rather, she considers it merely a bundle of demo songs (some of which she says are not done properly) that was sent to record companies. Only 2500 copies of this record were ever made, and it is thus not generally available in record stores. In response, Lee encouraged fans to download the band's older songs from the internet during an interview.
The group was founded by Lee and former lead guitarist Ben Moody. The two met at a youth camp in Arkansas, where Moody heard Lee playing Meat Loaf songs on the piano. They discovered they shared a love of Jimi Hendrix and Björk, and they began to write songs together. For some time they were unable to find other musicians to play with, and did not have the funds to pay for professional assistance, thus they were unable to play live shows. However, a song of theirs entitled 'Understanding' found its way onto local music charts, and demand for a live show increased. When the band finally did make an appearance, they became one of the most popular acts in the area.
In October 2003, Moody left the band abruptly in the middle of a European tour. To this day, he has not fully explained the reason for his leave. In an interview several months later 1 (http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/01/08/1073437399128.html), Lee said 'we'd gotten to a point that if something didn't change, we wouldn't have been able to make a second record.' Since, Lee has said it was almost a relief that he left because of tensions.
Former Limp Bizkit guitarist Wes Borland had been mentioned as a replacement for Moody and Lee described him as a friend, suggesting they may write together on their next record. Eventually it was Terry Balsamo, from Cold who joined the band in Moody's place.
On many music-related news articles, the band is often compared to nu-metal band Linkin Park, but many fans find this comparison unfair because it is based almost solely on their hit single 'Bring Me to Life.' Much of their other music, they say, sound very different. Other bands Evanescence has been compared to include Lacuna Coil, Nightwish and Within Temptation, all of which also employ the use of female vocals।
This band, once only know to us lucky few, has taken the world by storm। Their major-label debut Fallen on Wind-Up Records, home to bands such as 12 Stones and Drowning Pool has gone 5x Platinum in the US alone. The overpowering sounds of Evanescence have definently set them apart from any other band in 2003, and have won them many awards to include two grammys! However with all their success, also came lots of disappointments. With the loss of Ben Moody the question on everyone's mind is with 2/3'rds of the original band now gone will Evanescence be able to pump out an even better sophmore album? I guess only time will tell!
AND !! this is why i listen to this so called "shit" for you people who don't understand Gothic rock !....anyway who cares..its just me who does...!
Amy Lee - VocalsBen Moody AAmy Lee-Vocals
Ben Moody-Lead Guitar
John Lecompt-Guitar
Rocky Gray-Drums– Amy Lee - Vocal
Originally considered by many to be part of the Christian rock scene — and for a short time promoted in Christian stores — the band has distanced itself from such categorization, even though Fallen (2003), their first major-label release, had some religious themes. 'Tourniquet', for example, is about suicide and redemption, with lyrics like 'Am I too lost to be saved? My God, my tourniquet, return to me salvation.' It should be noted however, that the song was a cover, written by members of Rocky Gray's previous band, Soul Embraced. The initial labeling of the band as Christian stirred much controversy, until Christian stores eventually took Fallen off the shelves. The band's lead singer Amy Lee has insisted the band is not Christian and does not intend to send a Christian message, even though she is in fact a Christian herself.
Evanescence's debut single 'Bring Me to Life' was a global hit for the band and reached #5 on the American Billboard Hot 100. It was included in the soundtrack for the action movie Daredevil and garnered recognition for the band at the Grammy Awards of 2004: The single was awarded Best Hard Rock Performance, and Evanescence was awarded Best New Artist. Lyrically, Evanescence explores dark, introspective themes of love, desperation, and despair. But the group insists its fundamental message is a positive one. “The point of this whole record and band is to let people know that they’re not alone in dealing with bad feelings or pain or anything that they go through,” says Lee, who pens most of the words. “That’s life and that’s human. They’re not alone, and we’re going through it, too.”
Their first record, Origin (released in 2000), is relatively unknown, and previously released EPs in 1998 and 1999 are even less known, though highly sought after by collectors. Not atypically, Origin and the EPs contain demo versions of some of the songs on their first major-label album. In fact, the recording of 'My Immortal' found on Fallen can also be found on Origin, minus a handful of additional instrumental accompaniments. However, Lee herself does not consider the record to be an actual album; rather, she considers it merely a bundle of demo songs (some of which she says are not done properly) that was sent to record companies. Only 2500 copies of this record were ever made, and it is thus not generally available in record stores. In response, Lee encouraged fans to download the band's older songs from the internet during an interview.
The group was founded by Lee and former lead guitarist Ben Moody. The two met at a youth camp in Arkansas, where Moody heard Lee playing Meat Loaf songs on the piano. They discovered they shared a love of Jimi Hendrix and Björk, and they began to write songs together. For some time they were unable to find other musicians to play with, and did not have the funds to pay for professional assistance, thus they were unable to play live shows. However, a song of theirs entitled 'Understanding' found its way onto local music charts, and demand for a live show increased. When the band finally did make an appearance, they became one of the most popular acts in the area.
In October 2003, Moody left the band abruptly in the middle of a European tour. To this day, he has not fully explained the reason for his leave. In an interview several months later 1 (http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/01/08/1073437399128.html), Lee said 'we'd gotten to a point that if something didn't change, we wouldn't have been able to make a second record.' Since, Lee has said it was almost a relief that he left because of tensions.
Former Limp Bizkit guitarist Wes Borland had been mentioned as a replacement for Moody and Lee described him as a friend, suggesting they may write together on their next record. Eventually it was Terry Balsamo, from Cold who joined the band in Moody's place.
On many music-related news articles, the band is often compared to nu-metal band Linkin Park, but many fans find this comparison unfair because it is based almost solely on their hit single 'Bring Me to Life.' Much of their other music, they say, sound very different. Other bands Evanescence has been compared to include Lacuna Coil, Nightwish and Within Temptation, all of which also employ the use of female vocals।
This band, once only know to us lucky few, has taken the world by storm। Their major-label debut Fallen on Wind-Up Records, home to bands such as 12 Stones and Drowning Pool has gone 5x Platinum in the US alone. The overpowering sounds of Evanescence have definently set them apart from any other band in 2003, and have won them many awards to include two grammys! However with all their success, also came lots of disappointments. With the loss of Ben Moody the question on everyone's mind is with 2/3'rds of the original band now gone will Evanescence be able to pump out an even better sophmore album? I guess only time will tell!
AND !! this is why i listen to this so called "shit" for you people who don't understand Gothic rock !....anyway who cares..its just me who does...!
ओ रे पीया
ओ रे पीया हाय ओ रे पीया...(O beloved...)
उर्ने लगा क्यों मन बावला रे(Oh, why did my crazy soul begin to fly?)
आया कहा।न से यह हो।नसला रे(Oh, where did this courage come from?)
ओ रे पीया ओ रे पीया हाय(O beloved...)
ताना-बाना ताना-बाना बुनती हवा हाय बुनती हवा(The breeze teases and taunts me, oh, the breeze plays havoc with me।)
बू।नड.न भी टू आए नही.न बाज़ यहाँ.न(Even the raindrops won't shower here again.)
साजिश मी.न शामिल सारा जहा.न है(The whole world is part of the intrigue.)
हर ज़र्रे ज़र्रे की यह इंतज़ार है(I never stop waiting.)
ओ रे पीया(O beloved!)ओ रे पीया हाय ओ रे पीया हाय(O beloved...)
ओ रे पीया(O beloved!)
नि रे रे रे गा गा गा म म म पा पा म गा रे सा सा रे रे सा गा गा रे म म गा पा पा म ध ध पा नि नि सा सा पा पा सा म पा ध नि सा नि रे नि सा सा सा...[Notes in Indian classical music.]
नज़ारे.न बोले.न दुनिया बोले(The glances are telling, the world is telling)
दिल की ज़बान हाय दिल की ज़बान(the story of my heart, oh, the story of my heart.)
इश्क माँ.नज इश्क चाहे कोई तूफ़ान(Love prays, love wishes for a hurricane.)
चलना आहिस्ते इश्क नया है(A new love slowly walks in.)
पहला यह वादा हम ने किया है(This is the first promise we gave.)
ओ रे पीया हाय ओ रे पीया हाय(O beloved...)
ओ रे पीया पीया(O beloved, beloved.)
यह पीया(This beloved.)
न.नज पैरो.न पे अ.नगरों.न चलती रही हाय चलती रही(यू वेरे स्तेप्पिंग ओं बर्निंग चर्कोअल बरेफूत, ओह, यू कपट वाल्किंग.)
लगता है के गिरो.न मी.न मी.न पलती रही हाय(Oh, it seems that you were brought up among strangers.)
ले चल वहा.न जो मुल्क तेरा है(Take me to your country.)
जाहिल ज़माना दुश्मन मेरा है हाय(Oh, the cruel world is my enemy.)
ओ रे पीया हाय ओ रे पीया हाय...(O beloved...)
उर्ने लगा क्यों मन बावला रे(Oh, why did my crazy soul begin to fly?)
आया कहा।न से यह हो।नसला रे(Oh, where did this courage come from?)
ओ रे पीया ओ रे पीया हाय(O beloved...)
ताना-बाना ताना-बाना बुनती हवा हाय बुनती हवा(The breeze teases and taunts me, oh, the breeze plays havoc with me।)
बू।नड.न भी टू आए नही.न बाज़ यहाँ.न(Even the raindrops won't shower here again.)
साजिश मी.न शामिल सारा जहा.न है(The whole world is part of the intrigue.)
हर ज़र्रे ज़र्रे की यह इंतज़ार है(I never stop waiting.)
ओ रे पीया(O beloved!)ओ रे पीया हाय ओ रे पीया हाय(O beloved...)
ओ रे पीया(O beloved!)
नि रे रे रे गा गा गा म म म पा पा म गा रे सा सा रे रे सा गा गा रे म म गा पा पा म ध ध पा नि नि सा सा पा पा सा म पा ध नि सा नि रे नि सा सा सा...[Notes in Indian classical music.]
नज़ारे.न बोले.न दुनिया बोले(The glances are telling, the world is telling)
दिल की ज़बान हाय दिल की ज़बान(the story of my heart, oh, the story of my heart.)
इश्क माँ.नज इश्क चाहे कोई तूफ़ान(Love prays, love wishes for a hurricane.)
चलना आहिस्ते इश्क नया है(A new love slowly walks in.)
पहला यह वादा हम ने किया है(This is the first promise we gave.)
ओ रे पीया हाय ओ रे पीया हाय(O beloved...)
ओ रे पीया पीया(O beloved, beloved.)
यह पीया(This beloved.)
न.नज पैरो.न पे अ.नगरों.न चलती रही हाय चलती रही(यू वेरे स्तेप्पिंग ओं बर्निंग चर्कोअल बरेफूत, ओह, यू कपट वाल्किंग.)
लगता है के गिरो.न मी.न मी.न पलती रही हाय(Oh, it seems that you were brought up among strangers.)
ले चल वहा.न जो मुल्क तेरा है(Take me to your country.)
जाहिल ज़माना दुश्मन मेरा है हाय(Oh, the cruel world is my enemy.)
ओ रे पीया हाय ओ रे पीया हाय...(O beloved...)
Sunday, June 1, 2008
My true prospect
Why did you do this to me ?
Why did you break me into peices ?
Why did you take away all that I had ?
Because you were the only one who I owned,
You were the only jewel that I had treasured.
How far can you go from me ?
Seems like this is meant to be,
A vague impression of a dream.
Don't know wheres the sourse of this stream.
Felt like i was the lonely part of this blizzard,
And you didn't have the heart to stop me from that hazard.
I have realized the fact,that the world is so cruel,
That it burns the innocence on it without any fuel.
It snatches away pitilessly from those delicate hands,
Who once held them out for people in need to stand.
A friend,a true friend is what I need,
Who will understand me and know when to exceed.
A friend,a true friend is what I need,
Who will help me in my future lead.
Why did you break me into peices ?
Why did you take away all that I had ?
Because you were the only one who I owned,
You were the only jewel that I had treasured.
How far can you go from me ?
Seems like this is meant to be,
A vague impression of a dream.
Don't know wheres the sourse of this stream.
Felt like i was the lonely part of this blizzard,
And you didn't have the heart to stop me from that hazard.
I have realized the fact,that the world is so cruel,
That it burns the innocence on it without any fuel.
It snatches away pitilessly from those delicate hands,
Who once held them out for people in need to stand.
A friend,a true friend is what I need,
Who will understand me and know when to exceed.
A friend,a true friend is what I need,
Who will help me in my future lead.
17/10/2007
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Why i truely believe in this...
~My Thoughts & Feelings~
To me Gothic is not just a look, or a feeling of sadness and depression all the time which it seems most people associate it with. Nor do I believe it has to be associated with a particular religion. Some would say Satanism is common among people that call themselves Gothic and sometimes it is, but a religion is not needed in order to have an interest in this topic. I don't see Gothic/Goth as fitting an exact good, or evil scenario as far as it's intent. The person places the association with it, or makes it look bad or good themselves, in how they carry themselves within this subculture world. I myself don't feel unhappy in what I would consider my "Gothic" thoughts or feelings. To me Gothic is history, art, literature, movies, or just the thoughts in my head, of something "dark" I feel is beautiful, yet most would find to be completely the opposite. A warm, cloudy, perhaps rainy summer day. The sun is setting, the clouds filled with moisture seem to grow thin and a yellow glow from the setting sun seeps through giving it the perfect gloomy, yet beautiful effect. Perhaps a dark moonlit night, the stars shining as I sit alone listening to dark poetic music, can sometimes bring along lustful, erotic thoughts and fantasies that are pleasing to my mind. Don't get me wrong, I love my nice kayaking weather, but I can also see beauty within certain types of darkness. Yes, you can express being who you are by what you wear, but very little of this has to do with the threads we have hanging off us, it's more so about being an individual, more opened than a robotic mainstream that condemns so much, or a society that sees someone with true individuality as a freak. One thing is for sure though, and that is to sit and criticize others for being a "poser" or a "fake" because you don't like their room name, or because they don't have black hair and talk about suicide all the time is stupid. How do you know what that person feels? How do you know what this person thinks? You don't know them, so then what makes you think you know all about them. To me one that likes to tell others how they are lame, or fake without knowing them makes them the most unrealistic people around, a monkey, perhaps a follower of the mainstream themselves when they think they are the ones so different. Get to know someone and drop the egotistical debates. There is no one definition to the word Gothic. Goth may have a place of origin, but Gothic and Goth are easily tied together. Below perhaps you will gather a better understanding of the subculture, and how it fits with us today.
To me Gothic is not just a look, or a feeling of sadness and depression all the time which it seems most people associate it with. Nor do I believe it has to be associated with a particular religion. Some would say Satanism is common among people that call themselves Gothic and sometimes it is, but a religion is not needed in order to have an interest in this topic. I don't see Gothic/Goth as fitting an exact good, or evil scenario as far as it's intent. The person places the association with it, or makes it look bad or good themselves, in how they carry themselves within this subculture world. I myself don't feel unhappy in what I would consider my "Gothic" thoughts or feelings. To me Gothic is history, art, literature, movies, or just the thoughts in my head, of something "dark" I feel is beautiful, yet most would find to be completely the opposite. A warm, cloudy, perhaps rainy summer day. The sun is setting, the clouds filled with moisture seem to grow thin and a yellow glow from the setting sun seeps through giving it the perfect gloomy, yet beautiful effect. Perhaps a dark moonlit night, the stars shining as I sit alone listening to dark poetic music, can sometimes bring along lustful, erotic thoughts and fantasies that are pleasing to my mind. Don't get me wrong, I love my nice kayaking weather, but I can also see beauty within certain types of darkness. Yes, you can express being who you are by what you wear, but very little of this has to do with the threads we have hanging off us, it's more so about being an individual, more opened than a robotic mainstream that condemns so much, or a society that sees someone with true individuality as a freak. One thing is for sure though, and that is to sit and criticize others for being a "poser" or a "fake" because you don't like their room name, or because they don't have black hair and talk about suicide all the time is stupid. How do you know what that person feels? How do you know what this person thinks? You don't know them, so then what makes you think you know all about them. To me one that likes to tell others how they are lame, or fake without knowing them makes them the most unrealistic people around, a monkey, perhaps a follower of the mainstream themselves when they think they are the ones so different. Get to know someone and drop the egotistical debates. There is no one definition to the word Gothic. Goth may have a place of origin, but Gothic and Goth are easily tied together. Below perhaps you will gather a better understanding of the subculture, and how it fits with us today.
Waiting on your conscience
My lif has turned hell,
Every moment pricks my cell.
Standing all alone beside the beach,
Don't know where I'll reachh.
Don't know why I'm brooding over a lost cause,
Don't know what I'm living for.
The ocean water has caught my limbs,
These ways have whirled me over.
I don't know whats happening to me,
Somewhere where I'm not supposed to be.
Tell me,did I ever rave at you ?
Yes,I had seacrched for you high and low,
I did find you,but as somebody else's.
Thought i could have preserved you forever in my heart,
But i was wrong,as you were never mine.
Seems like you were born for that fortunate heart
Who kept you away from this unlucky one
Away.away..I'm going from you,
In the deapths of this ocean,
Where my soul will rest.
Waiting on your conscience,
When will you return back to me.
Under the deep ocean,On my sea bed,
No one will ever know except you and me.
That i had once lived for you,
And had laid my life for your own happiness.
Every moment pricks my cell.
Standing all alone beside the beach,
Don't know where I'll reachh.
Don't know why I'm brooding over a lost cause,
Don't know what I'm living for.
The ocean water has caught my limbs,
These ways have whirled me over.
I don't know whats happening to me,
Somewhere where I'm not supposed to be.
Tell me,did I ever rave at you ?
Yes,I had seacrched for you high and low,
I did find you,but as somebody else's.
Thought i could have preserved you forever in my heart,
But i was wrong,as you were never mine.
Seems like you were born for that fortunate heart
Who kept you away from this unlucky one
Away.away..I'm going from you,
In the deapths of this ocean,
Where my soul will rest.
Waiting on your conscience,
When will you return back to me.
Under the deep ocean,On my sea bed,
No one will ever know except you and me.
That i had once lived for you,
And had laid my life for your own happiness.
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